


Possessing me softly

by Saga (RancidSecret)



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Blood and Gore, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fairies, Horror, Magic, Monsters, Reader-Insert, Romance, Slow Burn, Terror, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:52:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15631059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RancidSecret/pseuds/Saga
Summary: Guilt. It traveled through your veins. It spilled. It drenched the floor beneath your feet alongside the blood. Your blood; dark under the moonlight.He was the light of your eye. The reason why the sun came up and the world turned around. So when the doctor placed his hand on your shoulder that cold night of may, and told you that all hope was lost, you thought back at your basement and the books you found there last summer.You remembered the drawings, the incantations, the surreal descriptions of creatures stolen from your most terrifying nightmares. You recalled the demons. Their summonings. Their deals.Hope wasn't lost. You were going to make sure of that, even if it consumed your soul. Even if it took you to the deepest pits of Hell. Even if it took surrendering your sense of self to the most enigmatic entity you have come to known and his red, hungry eyes.





	1. Prologue

The beep of the machines filled the room. The sound was accompanied by your father’s wandering footsteps and you mother’s soft cries. She had always had a soft heart. You remembered how she cried the entire ride in the ambulance when you were eight and broke your wrist. Still, you may have cried more that day.

_You weren’t crying now._

The hand in between yours twitched and you had to fight the need to squeeze it; to cradle it against your cheek. He was so fragile, so… small. His skin was so pale it looked almost translucent. You could almost see the blood coursing through his veins, struggling to keep his little body functioning. He radiated heat through the stiff hospital sheet; his temperature had been high all night long.

You moved the sweaty hair out of his face. It had been almost three years since Ben was born and he had been sick throughout all of it. All his life, living in a hospital, and now…

You heard your father’s voice calling you. The doctor was there and he wanted to speak with them. You got up. Whatever he had to say to your parents you wanted to hear.

The light of the corridor was bright. _Always so bright._ You had the feeling it only made people look sicker. Right now it made _you_ feel sick. The window in front of you gave view to a dark parking lot and you had the first glance at yourself in… days? _Crap._ How many hours have you been awake, again? The reflection in the glass suggested it was too many.

You knew this doctor. He was one of the pediatricians working on Ben. Hongbin was his name. You remembered because he always carried lollipops in his robe and you were convinced Ben learned his name before he learned the word ‘candy’.

He said only one thing to you before directing his attention to your parents. You were glad he did. You didn’t thought you would be capable of hearing a word through the buzz in your ears. “I’m sorry”. The words bounced in your head like echo. _I’m sorry_.

Is he really? _I’m sorry._

Does it matter? _I’m sorry._

Not when Ben-.

_I’m sorry._

**Ben, I’m sorry.**

A voice pushed its way through your thoughts. “How long?” It was your dad’s. He sounded so tired. You all did. In a past time, maybe not too long ago, your father would have gone against every doctor that tried to put their foot down. The only thing your father was fighting now was the tears.

It was understandable. This wasn’t the first time someone gave up on your brother, not by far, but this was the first time they gave you an ultimatum. A dead line.It was unbearable. 

“It’s hard to say. A month, maybe something over that.” The moment the words left his mouth your mother broke down sobbing. Your father might have been crying too but it wasn’t easy to tell; he was a hard man. He cradled her in his arms. They had been together through all of this. You remember as a kid, fantasizing on finding somebody to share a relationship like that. Someone to hold you while you broke down.

None of that mattered. _You weren’t crying now._ No, you knew what you had to do.

Last summer, as you were cleaning grandma’s old basement you found some books. The books. They were filled with… the strangest things. Potions. Spells. Incantations. _Rituals._ When you first found them you thought they were just bizarre fiction, but… the truth is, your grandma was a weird woman. She kept dried flowers on every doorway and window and gave you foul tasting remedies whenever you were sick.

The more you read the books… the scarier they got. Not because of the “recipes” as you would call them, but the books described creatures so… _different_ to any you could imagine. Back then you weren’t sure what to make of them.

Now… You knew exactly what to do.


	2. Greetings

You sat down in the middle of the chalk-drawn circle, positioning yourself in the dead center of the star that ran underneath your legs. A tremor of apprehension traveled through your spine, but it wasn’t the first one. Oh no. You had been working for such a long time in this… _thing_ , and not for one moment were you not terrified.

Was this the right thing to do? Was this really your only option? Maybe there was something else in the books. Something other than…

**But no.** Time was running out. You had already taken enough of it as it was. The materials on their own, had taken a whole week and most of your savings to get. If this didn’t work… _Crap,_ you had a hard time only thinking about it.

You looked down at the summoning circle; the tar of Egyptian honey, next to the pile of expensive herbs and dried flowers gave an ethereal glint under the candlelight. The imported incense’s scent traveled across the air and the smoke formed shapes before dissipating. That morning you had skimmed through a chapter on smoke divination but the adrenaline running through your head made it difficult to remember. Were big clouds the good sign, or…?

You took a deep breath. The most difficult part was yet to come. You took a knife out of your pocket, the moonlight flickered over its silver surface. You guided the blade over the skin of your forearm. Alarms were going off in your head. The most primal side of your humanity wanted to fight for its survival and you had to swallow the urge to throw the knife away.

This is it.

Your hand was shaking like an old woman’s and you were biting your lip in an attempt to hold back the tears. If… **When** you do _this_ … everything would be over. All your dreams, all your carefully crafted plans for the future would all go to the garbage. _ **Fuck**._ You were afraid. Afraid of the unknown. Of what happened after this point. The imagery in the books… They painted a bloodcurdling picture.

Was this really a good idea?

You were about to put the blade down when Ben’s bubbly laugh came from your memories. His eyes full of childish innocence, his pink cheeks that were many years away from burning the baby fat in them. If only he got the chance.

Fuck it.

Your grip tightened and in one swift motion, pain came roaring from your arm. You kept your eyes closed, trying, oh so hard, to block the pain away. Still, the feeling of blood spilling into your lap slithered it’s way in. **Fuck.** That had to go somewhere.

You guided your wrist into a bowl. It was filled with gunpowder and although it was far enough from the candles, it ignited the second your blood touched it. **The pain followed.**

You gritted your teeth but a cry escaped from between your lips anyway. Your left arm was on fire; at least it felt that way. The worst was the weight, heavy and suffocating over your chest; you felt like you were going to pass out. Was this the price the books referred to? Was all of this pain a mere _fee_?

The world was growing dark. You felt like you were losing your mind but there was still work to do.

You started enchanting the verses from the books. The words felt alien in your mouth despite having rehearsed them for days. There were just too many consonants and your tongue had trouble moving that fast. It probably wasn’t designed for human speech anyway.

Was this even working? The chant was over and all that was left was silence. You closed your eyes. No, no, no, no. **Fuck.** This had to work. It _had_ to. You had invested so much. The tears that you had been suppressing this whole time came to your eyes. You were so tired. You just wanted this whole thing to be over. You just wanted to go back in time and never… never…

The blood loss was taking its toll on you. _Fuck_. You pressed the wound with your bare hand, ignoring the shooting pain. If you didn’t find a way to stop the bleeding… Well… You guessed it might not matter that much after all. You breathed in deep and concentrated on what was really important.

Ben’s small nose and the way he worried sick when you told him you had stolen it.

_Silence._

Ben’s chubby hands griping your sweater when he fell asleep in your arms.

_Silence._

Ben’s short legs running away from the nurse that one time she tried to change him.

_Silence._

Ben’s hysterical laugh when you imitated the voices in his cartoons.

_Silence._

Ben’s decaying heartbeat as the doctors worked a tube through his throat.

**You heard footsteps behind you.**

* * *

 

You were frozen in your place at the center of the summoning circle. Shivers were running down your spine and a cold sweat was sprouting in the palms of your hands causing the knife you were holding to fall to the ground with a loud sound.

You slowly turned around, having to place all your might in moving one centimeter after another. Your mind was running through all the folklore that you had recollected in your years, from goat faced creatures with gigantic horns to skinny red men with big tridents and spiked tails.

What you found was nothing of the sort. A few feet away from the many candles surrounding you stood a raven the size of a small dog and, maybe because you were mesmerized in the way it’s shinny feathers reflected the candlelight, the shock of its face stole a low gasp from your lungs.

It, him?, her?, sported more than a handful of red vicious looking eyes and all of them, _every single one_ , looked straight at you, as if it could see right to your soul.

Not that crazy of a thought considering the situation.

You opened your mouth to speak, finding your throat completely dry. You coughed a little but stopped when the raven gave a sharp inclination of its head. Fear was consuming your courage and you were sure there was a thin layer of sweat in every inch of your body, yet, you forced yourself to swallow it down. “Are you-”

“She is not who you are looking for,” a soft voice behind you made you give a squeak and turn your body as fast as your sitting position allowed it. So fast, in fact, that your bleeding arm knocked over the honey tar.

You cursed out loud, remembering your open wound. The cut was deep and the blood-flow had not slowed a tad since you first sliced it open. Placing your hand over the cut again, you looked up at the… _man?_ as he spoke.

“You are ruining it…” A frown settled upon his dark brows and his red eyes looked in displeasure from the spilled honey to you.

You felt rage bubble inside you and if you were any less smart you might have promised him you would bleed to death somewhere more _convenient_ next time; but no, antagonizing someone whose power you are yet to discover would not be a wise move, nor would it help Ben in any way. Taking a deep breath you started to work on applying enough pressure for the bleeding to slow down.

When you raised your eyes again you noticed him looking behind you. “Huginn.” _The raven._ You looked back and barely caught sight of the enormous bird taking flight towards his master’s shoulder.

The man in front of you looked intimidating with the animal perched on him and you had to force yourself to look from his dark hair to the bird’s oh, so many eyes. Only then did you realize the orbs hovering above his head. Completely black on the outer rim, though after squinting your eyes a bit you could see from the center of one of them something red and thick bubbling.

The other orb, the one suspended farthest from his head, had a bright center of pure white and you found yourself looking at it for longer than you deemed appropriate. It was _hypnotizing_.

A voice took you out of your stupor. “You called.” You could hear a hint of doubt in his voice as he gestured at the summoning circle.

You shacked your head to clear your thoughts. “Yes…” You weren't all that sure sure what the etiquette was. “I… want to make a deal?”

“I can see that”, he extended his hand towards you. “Do you need help getting up?”

You inspected his hand, surprised to see that they weren’t hooves or claws; in all honesty you were a little disappointed that his nails were pinkish and trimmed and not the stereotypical three full inches, dripping blood mess that the Internet suggested.

Taking his hand, you stood up, careful of not getting too close to the many open flames on the ground.

“What is it that you want to achieve and what are you willing to give me in exchange?” His voice had turned several tones lower and his tone reminded you of the actors in low budget movies; like he was straight up reading from a script.

Ben’s face flashed in your head. “My brother. He is sick; has been sick all his life. I want him to get better, I want… I just want him to live a normal life,” you looked around yourself, form the mess of honey and blood to the last candle surrounding the chalk circle. “No matter what it takes.”

He started walking around the circle. “And are you aware of what it does take?”

"I am. Aware that is. You want my soul, don’t you?”

“Unless you want to give me someone else.”

_Somebody else?_ You forced down the knot forming in your throat. “You mean killing someone?”

“Not exactly. In theory, you could offer a soul you own. Husband, wife, children, life debtors too. I will take it to my people then, to value it’s worth and if it is okay you have your deal.”

Your stomach twisted at the idea of someone selling their kids to a demon. "No. Not married. No kids" you raised your hand and pointed at your ringless finger for emphasis. As if it was necessary, you were yet to hit twenty.

As soon as the word left your mouth one of the bubbling orbs, the one flying at his left started over flooding, thick droplets falling to the dirt. He looked at it and frowned. “Shut up.”

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“Not-” The demon hesitated, seemingly lost for words before picking his pace again. “We are getting side-tracked. We don’t have all night, if we don’t seal a deal before the last candle burns out this connection will break and you will not be able to make another call until the next full moon”, you looked down, immediately regretting cheaping out on the candles of all things, the wax was melting awfully quick now. “There are some conditions we need to agree on before the contract is sealed.”

“All right,” you have read some stuff on the books. Surprisingly, Hell had some smart lawyers, because they closed every pathway someone would have to use their resources against them.

He started to recite, his monotonous tone gave you the impression that it was part of a script handed to every demon-to-be and a chuckle helplessly escaped your throat at the idea of Sunday school in Hell, were baby demons learned the up and abouts of candy stealing, back talking and grandma pushing, and in which a snake was the popular class-pet choice. You wondered if favoring teachers with apples was a cliché as well.

An exasperated sigh brought you back to earth. “Are you even listening to me?”

_Oh crap._ “Of course,” he looked away, clearly annoyed; his sharp eyes drilled holes in the landscape. It was obvious he didn’t believe you for a second, but he didn’t say anything else. _Fuck_. You might have just screwed yourself. Hopefully it wouldn’t come and bite your ass later on.

“What is your goal? I suggest you break it down. The contract doesn’t read intention as well as the ritual.”

_What?_

Whatever, this was fairly easy; you had run this part in your mind over and over. “My brother was born early and he got sick a lot. The treatments putted too much stress in him and now his body is shutting down. I want all of his diseases to be cured. I want my brother to be able to breath, walk, run, hear, speak and learn properly. I don’t want **any** of his current illnesses to affect him later in life.

The demon took a second to think, or at least you thought so, because he had a determined look later, when he nodded. "You need to understand something. Health related contracts take time, I can’t cure your brother in the blink of an eye, I need time for research and testing. It might strike you as a surprise but the underworld is not so accustomed to… _doctor_ calls,” His tone suggested that you didn’t want to know with time of _calls_ they were used to.

You felt yourself deflating bit by bit. "How long?” Shit, **no**.

He shacked his head. “I’ll need to see him, but if things go our way… a couple of days.” Maybe... that wasn’t so bad, just some more days. “Do you have any conditions?”

“Only one. If… **When** Ben gets better. I want to stay for a while. Spend some time with him, say goodbye to my family, all that. Whatever comes after… well it comes _after_ ”, you saw him mumble something that seemed a lot like “clever”, but when the orb by his head started bubbling like crazy he looked at you, harsher this time. The contrast made you realize that despite all the folklore you had swallowed in this time and despite the books’ many warnings… he was being _quite_ pleasant.

“You need to specify the time”

“What?”

“How long are you going to stay? If the contract senses you are trying to create a loophole it will rebound.”

“I’m not”, you really weren’t; truth be told you hadn’t thought about a precise time, you just wanted to be with Ben, with your family one last time. "A day, two?“ The demon didn’t say anything, but he conveyed his opinion pretty well by raising a single eyebrow. " **24 hours** , how about that?”

“All right, is that all?” When you nodded he got closer to you. The scent of something rich and familiar mixed in with the smells lingering from the summoning ritual. The bright orb descended from atop the man’s head and placed itself on his stretched palm.

He started to chant in a tongue that you couldn’t recognize and after a while the orb in his hand started to get brighter and brighter. It looked an awful lot like he had just grabbed a star with his bare hand. Suddenly the chant stopped and his free hand grabbed the small on your back, pulling you against him.

“What the-” When you were about to push the hell away from him, the hand that held the **_star_** was being pushed against the middle of your chest. Pain shot through your entire body and you were now grateful of him holding you. Something was tearing you apart and installing itself in the space between your chest. **Fuck**. It felt so **big**. _It hurted so **bad**._ A scream bubbled its way through your throat and as the first gesture of kindness the universe had shown you in a while, you passed out.


	3. His name is Leo

"Whoa-whoa" The demon was holding your body when it went limp in his arms and you almost took him with you; so he had to shift his own weight to support yours. He was rummaging his brain for an explanation of what had just happened, why did you just passed out like that? Even more importantly, what in Hell's prairies was he supposed to do with you now. He should be explaining the details and commands of the contract to you, but... he can't, so... should he... leave and come back later? Well, for the moment he guessed he had to put you down.

The carmine orb fluttering by his side gurgled and he heard an excited voice inside his head. "Leo? How did it go?" Red drops from the bubble stumbled upon the dirt with every word.

Leo picked the honey tar and gave it a sniff. It wasn't completely ruined, he guessed. One could still salvage around half of it. Such a shame, it smelled really good.  "I closed it."

The bubble almost exploded when the voice spoke. "Congratulations! Oh, we have to celebrate. What do you want to eat?"

"Nothing that you cooked"

"It was one time I burnt the food, you have to let it go someday"

Leo didn't answer. There weren't numbers high enough to express how many times it had really been, and even when he didn't burnt it, N seemed to have a talent for striping ingredients out of their flavor. Leo had tried to teach him once or twice, but to no avail. Maybe N had a curse of sorts.

"Talk to me, Leo, how does your caster looks? Is she a girl, she sounded like a girl. Is she pretty? Have you two talked about the contract? Did you give her the bandage like I told you to?" Oh... that. Crap, N was going to nag him if he found out he had let you bleed all this time. He knelled right beside you; retrieving the small bandage from his coat, he started wrapping it around your arm. The cut didn't seem very deep and most of the bleeding had stopped now.

"No, she fainted," and the notion was swarming around Leo's head; he had seen deals being closed before and, although he admits he have been a tad more rough than he had seen N being in the past, he never witnessed a caster even losing his balance when the contract was sealed.

Leo noticed the voice in his head was awfully quiet, although he didn't ponder long if it was any sing of abnormality in your deal. "Maybe she cut too deep," the redhead suggested absent-mindedly. "Bleed too much". As far as he could see and as far as he could smell, there was blood everywhere. It coated the tars, it mixed with the honey, it stained the dirt and it even putted out one of the candles that had previously been knocked off.

He only heard a non-committal sound from his friend.

 Time passed in which Leo picked your offerings, inspecting the ones he would take home and the ones he would simply toss out. So far he only had grabbed interest in the honey that had gone untouched by your blood and a small wooden music box. This weren't very common in the underground. He wondered how it would sound.  There was also some wine there that N would appreciate.

He was picking stuff around when he spotted a glimpse of metal in the dirt. He leaned down to pick it up, but...

Fuck. He let it down with a grunt.

"Leo? Everything alright?"

"Silver," the demon looked around for something to grab the blade with, but a caw stopped him. Hugnin, his familiar, was pecking at a black backpack. Maybe it was yours?

"Uh, bad choice. Do you think she knows it hurts us? Does she seem the evil type of woman? Maybe a witch?"

Leo opened the bag refusing to answer. Inside was an old looking book. He flipped through the pages, catching drawings of summoning runes along the paper. It was yours, then. He rummaged a little more until he felt soft cloth touch his fingers. He was looking for something he could wrap around the knife to grab it and not have his hand scorched. A sweater. Good enough.

He was about to reach for the blade when N's voice came back. "Hey, Leo? Try not using your hands to pick it up."

Sigh. Leo shoved the sweater back in the bag, maybe with a little more force than necessary. He squatted by the knife and placed his hands on top of it.

"Come on, you can do it, you just need to-"

Leo tuned him out. He could feel the air crisp around him and the hair in his arms stood up, but the knife remained on the ground. He pushed harder. He could feel something vibrating within his chest, the place where his soul might have been stored in the past. He felt energy in his fingertip and the knife lifted in the air. The sight always reminded Leo of a puppet having its strings pulled.

"I did it."

"Congratulations! Everything is coming together today isn't it? You had your first deal and you finally managed to lift sacred metals." His voice took a dramatically sad tone. "They grow so fast. I can still remember the day we met, you were so-"

"Shut up." Leo shoved the silver blade into your backpack; a little more force and the back of the bag might have been cut through. He felt better now that the thing was out of sight, but he was back on his initial conundrum. What was he supposed to do with you?

As if reading his mind N intervened. "You aren't just gonna leave her there, right?" But couldn't he? Couldn't he just... take off? Sure, the night was chilly but it wasn't all that cold, and he even cleaned around. Maybe if he threw your sweater over you…

"No," N was never going to let him live it down. Leo went to you and cupped your face in his hands. "Hey," he waited for a second, but the demon had to repeat his command a couple of times before getting any sing of awareness in you. "Open your eyes for me, please," your eyes rolled in your sockets and Leo had to fight a sigh. When they finally open, he rushed before you could pass out again. "I just need you to think of home, okay? Just think of your house for a second," It took a while, but he felt the image form in his head. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled at the strings, feeling them take him into his destination. 

* * *

 

_Chirp._

_Chirp._

 

Chirp? Oh for fuck's sake... Those goddamn birds. You swore upon your nana's grave that that if you could go back in time just for a second it would be to stop you mother from planting that damned tree by your window.

_Now, there’s a lie._

**Ben.**

You quickly sat in your bed and peeled the covers away from your body. Your head was killing you and the space over your sternum felt sore and heavy. You massaged the place, trying to sooth the feeling while searching for an injury. You found nothing. No blood, no scratches, not even a bruise. Still... you could clearly remember _the star_ entering your body and the pain… _oh the pain_. It was like something impossible heavy pushed your insides around and took place in the middle of your chest.

Then, you noticed the bandage wrapped around your forearm. The wound throbbed and you could see some blood splattered in the cloth. You didn't remember bandaging it yourself. Did the demon...?

You got up, shaking the though off. Whatever happened was over and you needed a shower with urgency. Sweat, dirt and dried blood stuck to you like a second skin, your cheeks had crusts of dry tears that you don’t even remember crying. Well... _some_ of them you did.

The ritual _in theory_ was not that complicated, you thought as you striped in the shower, careful to not get the bandage over your arm wet. The blood sacrifice had taken more of your sanity, both mental and physical, that you could’ve predicted, but the rest was quite simple. A chalk drawn circle with an over spiked star, weird runes, candles, an incantation and offerings.

Now that's where it got interesting. Apparently there wasn't any "how-to" when it came to flattering demons, but there were basic offerings that, if the internet was right, pleased a great variety of them. **Oh!** , because the _little fuckers_ turned out to be picky. Some liked rice grains; some wouldn't present themselves if you offered it; some would drool over raw meat; some would open you in canal if you dared to have it near them during the ritual.

 In the end you went with wine, honey, incense, a couple of herbs and a small music box, because apparently, the one thing they all agreed on was that _'tech is neat'_.

You wrapped your body in a towel and stepped out of the shower, even when it felt like only you lived in this house now, with your parents always in the hospital. Passing by the sink, you stole a side eyed glace in the mirror, what you saw stole a gasp from your lips. There it was, just like the books had described it; a single black symbol on the skin between your breasts. It was a small cross with two horizontal lines, a hollow circle sat atop the upper one and another more filled one dangled from the one at the bottom.

You ran your fingers over it and reality came crashing down on you, making your head spin. You were **marked**. You were **marked like cattle**.

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

**_Fuck._ **

"I sold my soul to a demon."

 It was almost ironic that after all that time of researching satanic rituals and their whatabouts, it was now that the gravity of the situation fell upon you.

You were screwed.

You were _beyond_ screwed; you had sold your soul and now it was someone else’s property. Well... not quite yet. Not until Ben was healed. You were going to be around until he could carry on with his own life. The rush of adrenaline made your head spin a little. It brought back memories from last night; the candles, the smoke, the blood, **the demon** -.

You saw movement out of the corner of your eye. You twisted your head as fast as humanly possible and backed against the wall when you saw... **him** , in your shower stand. He looked so out of place with his red eyes and ominous clothes. Just now in the bathroom light did you realize that his hair, despite how the candlelight made it seem last night, was actually of an auburn shade. Like old blood. _Fuck_ , he was intimidating. The big black coat he wore didn't helped either.

Thinking about clothes...

The lack of them in your own body fell on you and you gripped the towel around your chest. "What the hell are you doing here?" He opened his mouth but nothing came out. He seemed at a loss for words.

"I... We need to talk. About the contract," he shifted in his feet "I need to teach you-"

"How long have you been in there?" Getting into hysterics was a bad, bad idea, yes, but you were dressed in only a towel, your arm was bleeding and your head was about to explode, so, if your voice had a particularly panicked tone, well... you had motive.

"I just got here, I wasn't... watching" The demon seemed to stumble upon his words.

You cradled your head in between your hands. Jesus Christ, the day had barely started and you already wanted to crawl back in bed. "Can it wait?"

"Yes, but-"

" _Please_ , just... Go downstairs, give me a second"

The demon nodded and disappeared in a bright light and a loud snap that brought a buzz to your ears.

_What the-…_

* * *

 

When you walked down the stairs a part of you wished the red-haired demon would be gone, but to your despair, he was planted in the middle of your kitchen, his eyes stuck to a brightly coloured cookie jar. Despite his dramatic look what made your heart jump was not him, bu the big bird perched in one of the wooden chairs from the breakfast table. When she heard you enter the room, she twisted her head around and stared at you with... one, two... seven? Seven eyes. _Lord_. Her companion heard you as well, and in a likewise manner twisted around looking guilty. You wanted to ask him if he would like a treat for the bird, instead you asked him what did he needed you for.

"Leo" _Eh?_ "My name" **Oh.** You introduced yourself.

Leo took a notebook from a hidden pocket in his black coat. "We need to go over some things" You eyed the clock hanging over the wall. The black tail of the cat ticked in a steady rhythm; it's eyes traveled from side to side, but you had the feeling it was somehow judging your  life decisions. Nevertheless, you still had some time until school started, so you sat down at the kitchen table, motioning Leo to do the same.

"Before we begin, do you have any question?"

"Yeah, why were you in my shower stand?"

"I-... You passed out, so I-"

"Yeah I get that, but _how_ did you got in there?"

"It's..." He was trying to place it with the right words, but seemed unable to.  The silence extended, you thought he was just going to left that hanging, but he proceeded talking "It's easier to show you." 

You wondered what he meant, but a bright light shined and much like the way he did a couple of minutes ago, he vanished into thin air.

"What?" You looked around, but were completely alone in the kitchen. The baby blue walls that your father used to always keep on patrol for any oil or sauce spills, would have given a dramatic contrast with the almost gothic appearance of the demon. You stood up, looking through the windows that gave to the back garden. Your mother's forgotten cops, dried and dead sat unbothered under the early sun, but no trace of a black coat or a red head. _Where had he...?_

The black bird made a deep noise that sounded _an awful lot_ like human speech. You passed saliva. _It's okay_. You knew some birds could mimic sounds. It wasn't all that rare. Although, added to the eyes and the way she looked at you, It was creepy as **fuck**. "What was that?" you spoke with a trembling voice.

**_"Leo."_ **

" _Leo?"_

The air in front of you changed and there he was, he was... too close. You breathed in deep, and received a whiff of coffee and something deeper,  far more sinister that complimented the situation perfectly. He was _so_ tall he towered over you; he was close enough for you to feel the heat emanating from his body and his face was… his _eyes_ were...

You took a step back.

"So you appear" Nod. "Whenever I call?"

Leo hesitated. "It works on intent" He passed his hands through the front of his clothes, as if straightening imaginary wrinkles. "You don't _need_ to call me, just..."

"Yeah, I didn't call you upstairs."

"You didn't need to, I was sort of, 'keeping an eye... **Ear**. Keeping an **ear** out'"

"And what, you heard me saying the word 'demon' but not the shower running?"

"I didn't _hear_ you I... well I did hear your voice, but I wasn't outside the door or anything"

"Then where-? _Oh_." It finally fell on you what he was trying to say. "How does that actually work?" You motioned between the two of you. "The books weren't all that clear."

"The contract is inside of you." Leo pointed at the middle of your chest. _The star_. "That..." He struggled with his words "keeps a _door_ of sorts, open."

You placed a hand over your sternum. Then, a feeling of heaviness around your heart made itself present. As downing as this whole affair seemed... You had a cause. You had a purpose. Last night when you opened your wrist you thought that was going to be it, and the fact that it didn't... well, that changed nothing. "Is there anything else?"

You saw him shift in his chair. He was uneasy and you could almost swear he didn't want to keep going. Regardless, he started reading from his notebook. " _The caster, as solicitor, holds complete liberties over the course of action they might prefer to accomplish the given task through, **although** it is advised to follow the generic methodology presented by the casteé. In addition, the contract enforces the fulfillment of these commands to accelerate the process and to assert the caster wishes are seen trough._ "

"Wait, what does that mean? I can just boss you around?" Nod. "And you 'have' to do it?" Shrug. " _Yikes_."

Leo let out a big exhale of air. You had the feeling he was trying to calm himself down. "I need to see your brother soon, but for now, please tell me what exactly is his situation.”

You squirmed in the chair, already familiar with the drowning sensation that swallowed you whenever someone asked about Ben's many afflictions. "My parents were... rather old when they got Ben and the pregnancy was risky," There was a knot forming in the back of your throat, but you pushed it down. "My mom... she went through a lot and Ben was born sooner that we thought."

"How soon?" You noticed the demon was scribbling in the notebook from before.

"Near 28 weeks. He... started to get really sick; had problems breathing and the doctors hooked him to a respirator, but... because of how long he needed the machine, his lungs took some damage. Over the years it escalated, he was diagnosed around a year ago with chronic lung disease. It was supposed to get better over time, but... it hasn't."

"How old is your brother right now?"

"He will turn three in a couple of weeks," which brought to mind that you still had to plan something for his birthday. Last year he had been crazy for butterflies, so you managed to sneak a couple and let them flutter in his hospital room. The smile on his face was worth every second the nurses scolded you. This year, you wondered _where on earth_ you were going to get a dinosaur.

"I see. Is that all?"

"No. He gets infections all the time, even in the hospital's 'sterile' chambers. He also had a very bad anemia that slowed down his growth." Leo was nodding you along, pen dancing over the paper.

>>He has... trouble learning. At the beginning the doctors guessed his brain hadn't developed correctly, but it seems fine in all of the scans," you leaned against the wall, talking about Ben always drained you emotionally. You wondered if anyone will notice if you skipped class today. You considered for a moment, but desisted upon realizing that staying home would just prolong your current conversation. You focused again on your train of thought. "We are just... stumbling in the dark at this point. All the other preemies in his wing stayed in the hospital only a couple of weeks, Ben **lives there.** "

"Is there any chance I could look into his medical records, as well as your family's?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll have to look for them, though."

"I'll need some blood too."

A chill ran down your spine. Last night you had to pay a price in blood, maybe... "You want me to..." your hand gestured towards the kitchen knives.

Leo's eyes bored on you. He seemed strangely amused by your suggestion.  “I mean a sample. From your brother?”

Embarrassment brought the color back to your face. _Right_.


	4. Such an angel

_What a horrible day._

 Your mind was anywhere but in the classroom and the feeling of time slipping in between your fingers like water pooled in your chest.  Why did school matter anymore? Just some hours ago you were ready to give everything up for your brother, your dreams, your goals, all of your carefully cared for aspirations; everything you had. Then the night passed and _nothing_ changed.

All in all, school lost its objective now... not to mention the last couple of weeks that you had spent anywhere but in class haven’t helped matters at all.

A ringing sound ripped through the morning as the bell chirped and you felt your spirit rise a bit. You had Human Anatomy next. You loved that class. Perhaps one of the most interesting of the program, the little muscles, tendons, inconspicuous organs and the thousands upon thousands of names fed your soul a tiny bit. God, you loved the human body.

And you really, _really_ liked your Anatomy teacher.

You've guessed it happened way before you were aware of it, but that didn't matter anymore. So what if you had a crush on a teacher? It was a victimless crime and it wasn't like he returned your feelings, anyway, even if your hormonal brain twisted the innocent, completely professional stares, touches and conversations into something bigger and way, way more profound.

It didn't help that he was the youngest teacher in the university, either; only a handful of years older than you. And yet, there was always this hoary shine in his eyes when he was lecturing, a deep tone in his voice that made you feel like he possessed _all_ the knowledge in the universe, even if he was just naming all the bones in a foot.

And he was so... enormously kind.

You remembered the first day of your second year. Professor Kim was waiting for you in front of the main entrance. Your heartbeat rocketed at his sight and when he asked you to follow him into his office you felt like something was going to explode inside your chest. His office always smelled like lavender, sometimes there was a hint of something _sweet_ that you could never really pinpoint. Whatever it might be, you encountered it constantly throughout your school day.

Crap and that was even before you realized how you felt for him.

_Ravi_ , as he insisted his students to call him, wanted to congratulate you on your work last year and personally give you the rundown of the semester program. This wasn't completely out of the ordinary, since you weren't in school much; last year alone, you had traveled 5 times to meet specialist that would do something for your brother's situation, reason why you had asked some teachers to give you work in advance.

Ravi patted your shoulder before you got to class and the joy lasted you _all day long_. Funny how that became a common occurrence between the two of you. Whenever you chatted in private he would place his palm on your shoulders. On a good day he would squeeze it as a way to encourage you.

It was a childish crush, fueled by dumb illusions.

Even so… You were happy back then. Things were great, the best they had been in recent times. Your school was challenging and exciting, you were doing great in class and after admitting your feeling for your teacher the clog of nerves that closed your windpipe every time you caught sight of him got easier and easier to swallow down. Even Ben was doing good. He was on a new treatment that promised _so much_...

But... as it was the usual now, everything turned to _shit_.

The treatment didn't go like you all expected and Ben started to get sicker and sicker, your parents more frustrated and the pile of lagged work started to grow. You were tired again, getting out of bed was harder every morning and you started to skip classes for the first time in 4 years.

A piece of paper came into your field of vision, flying to your desk, it obviously had been ripped out of the back of a notebook. You recognized the tattered doodle in one side of the paper; on the other, in your best friend’s handwriting: _You look like shit._

You wrote a couple of half-felt vulgarities and tossed it at Hyuk's head. The paper bounced off of him and fell into the ground, where a different hand picked it up.

The signature fuzzy sweater of Professor Kim _hugged_ his arms and when he folded the note open; his slender fingers _traced_ the words.

**Shit.**

You _felt_ him lean forward. The lavender scent that lingered in his robes invaded your nose. He called you by your last name as a way to get your attention.

"Care to share with the class?"

You opened your mouth to speak or gasp or perhaps just to get more of his _scent_ in, but the bell that signaled the end of the class resonated through the hallway. You saw Ravi sighing. "All right guys, I want a diagram of the sympathetic chain of the thorax’s _organovegetative_ nerves for the next class" A groan passed through the room. "Move along," he tapped in your desk one more time. "Except you, please stay behind."

Oh boy.

The room vacated, but Hyuk, stayed long enough to send you an apologetic glance, before going to his next class. You had meet Hyuk a little less than 3 years ago, when you started working part time in the local bookstore to pay for the bail.

Ravi sat casually over an empty corner of your desk.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, professor," the automatic lie slipped through your lips way too fast, making you cringe internally.

Ravi studied your face for a second, but whatever he found got him to change the subject so you weren't going to complain. "How is your brother doing?" _Sigh._   Since you signed up for the program, over a year and a half ago, some teachers liked to keep close tabs on his situation. Whether it was for sympathy, for your performance in class or a simple medical curiosity, was unknown to you. You supposed it could be a strategy to avoid desertion in students. Ravi certainly wasn't the only teacher interested, but he was the hardest one to face.

"He is... not okay." You wanted to block the hospital corridor from your mind; instead, it traveled to the demon in your kitchen. "I- We just found a new _specialist_. If things go well he might be the one to... fix things

 "What's his specialty?" Ravi had crossed his arms; his hands folded against the fabric of his sweater. He wore that single piece of fabric _at least_ three times a week. Not that you were keeping track.

Fuck. You faked a sigh, trying to convey a conflict far simpler in your actions that the one you got yourself into. "It's complicated..."

Ravi analyzed you for a moment, his eyes felt hot and heavy against your skin. "You are trying with _alternatives_ again." You finally lowered your gaze. In the past, the desperation had driven your family to try some more than sketchy treatments. "And you have faith in this doctor?"

Faith?

Conviction, yeah; confidence, almost, but faith? It felt too ironic, too close to _trust_. You chose your next words carefully. "He has... stakes in the case and I think he might just have the means."

"What makes you think that?" Shit, you were trying to be cryptic about the whole thing and he was just making it more difficult. "Don't take me wrong, it's just that I've never heard you being this sure about a therapist." To be fair you wanted to have faith in every crazy doctor and their more crazy ways of healing, but some of them were just too much. A memory of what must have been the twelfth doctor pulsed trough. _Bean jewelry and gem water_ , if you remembered correctly.

"It's complicated, professor..." You rummaged your brain for an excuse to drive the conversation somewhere else when you felt his broad hand place itself in your shoulder, the warmth from it always made you feel comforted and safe. A compulsion to just spill everything right then and there attempted to take over you and you had to bite your bottom lip to stop yourself.

When Ravi spoke next his voice was deeper, something that sounded a lot like _promise_ waved itself within his words and assaulted your heart. "You know you can talk to me about everything, don't you? The smallest thing that bothers you, come running."

You looked at the floor and nodded your head, pretending that you would do just that and hating yourself for lying to him.

_But you couldn't._

His grip on your shoulder was firm. Your whole body felt heavy and tired, and a pain was growing deep inside your chest. You recognized the feeling as bitter disappointment.

_Because it wouldn't change **anything**._

Ravi took his hand away and you lifted your head, aware of the lavender scent that now surrounded the both of you. The professor was staring at you intently, a shadow of confusion passed through his black eyes.

The bell ringed again, signaling the beginning of the next class.

"Sir? I have to go."

"Of course...” You picked your backpack up and were about to reach the door when Ravi spoke your name again. "Could you by any chance be sick?"

_Sick_? "No, sir." Did you look sick? Had Hyuk been right? You tried to remember if you looked pale this morning, but instead, your mind wandered to the previous night. The crippling fear, the blood loss, the starry sky and the full moon. The knowledge of your impending demise. _The star_ ripping its way through your chest. The blinding pain. "I didn't sleep a lot last night, maybe it’s that.”

Ravi was no longer looking at you, his eyes were stuck in the window, but his mind was much, much farther. "Yes... It might just be that."

* * *

 

When you opened the front door of your house you didn't expect to have company, but as the heavy mahogany entrance gave away, the first thing you saw was Leo's black coat resting on the back of the little chair by the reception table. Your mom always used to put it there because " _hosting and manners_ ". However, you had the feeling even your mother would have thought her manners twice with the man a couple of feet away.

He reminded you an awful lot of your dad, then. The same tension in their shoulders, the same tightness in their lips, almost the same concealed frown on their eyebrows, but back then your dad's scorns were always rooted in concern for your well being, while Leo's... _Leo's_.... You realized that you didn't have any idea. You barely knew anything about him.

The demon delivered a single sentence that set the mood for the conversation. "I don't work with _witches_." His tone was low and you didn't think he even tried to conceal the judgment in his voice.

A witch? "What are you talking about?"

"Don't bother. There are bones all over the garden and I can see the books in your living room. I can even _smell_ it on your clothes."

 He had spoken his words with such disdain, it might just have been confused with passion and it took you a second to understand him. "Bones?" Jesus fucking Christ. "The garden is a mess, there are rats everywhere and I had to study runes for the ritual.  And what is it to you anyway?" You slammed your backpack on the floor, making your way to the kitchen, but as you were doing so, a thought pressed against your mind. "Is there anything against witches in your "terms"?

"There isn't."

"Then, what-?"

"I just don't _like_ them."

_Right._

You took a deep breath trying to control your nerves.

"Alright, look. I don't care what's your deal with witches, or any of that shit, frankly I don’t get why you are so pressed about it, but-

Leo's face was red as he spoke, though you weren't sure if it was due to embarrassment or rage. "I'm not _pressed_ about anything, witches and wizards are egotistical **scums** that exploit magic for their own sick pleasure, they temper with forces they don't understand and mess with ordeals _far too important_ for them to-"

"Whatever, Leo. I _don't care_ , get it? I'm not a **witch** , I don't do **magic**. Get off my **fucking** back."

The demon was clearly enraged; there wasn't any doubt on it now. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, making you wonder if he was preparing a comeback, but he closed his eyes and was gone with a bright flash and an angry crackling of the air.

What on heaven's name was this guy's fucking problem? This morning he was embarrassed and almost funny, but you left him for a couple of hours and he became a XVII century pilgrim, spitting fire and cursing witchcraft.

And what did he even meant with " _smell it on your clothes_ "?

The guy was bad in the head, you decided. Or maybe not, maybe all demons were that unstable and it became normal by association. _Who knew_?

* * *

It took you over two hours to find all the medical records. Once upon a time, there used to be order in your parent's house. Maybe before Ben was born and the house wasn't just a hotel for two thirds of its inhabitants. Perhaps even before that, when you were a child and your relationship with your parents was healthy.

Now... the house was just too big. You tried to take care of the living room and your parents’ bedroom was always pristine, but the rest of the house... let's just say you _struggled_.

The garden being your mother's escape space and the basement being your father's study were the saddest rooms of the house. All of your mom's crops have withered and, although you didn't knew the first thing about gardening, the dirt looked _so_ dry and dead that making something grow out if it again seemed unrealistic to you. The basement was a _completely_ different story, there were so many thing living there it made all the hair in your body stand on end just thinking about it.

You were making lunch for your parents; as you normally did whenever you dropped by the hospital. You considered making something for Leo. The cleaning and searching softened your anger but you were still freaked out by his outburst.

What had made him that mad? It all seemed too _dramatic_ for you. Just how bad were witches, really? Leo didn't seem like an overly irrational man and to his defense you have adopted some of nana's books that had dubious tittles. All in a scientific purpose, of course, but you guessed finding "101 uses of Blood Magic in everyday tasks" in the coffee table would be stressful if one had a previous negative bias.

Thank _God_ he didn't go into your computer. You had such an ungodly amount of titles in the matter that you thought his head would have exploded.  Yet again you would have probably yanked it off his shoulders yourself if he _dared_ to go into your room. Again.

Being completely honest, you weren't interested in magic for the practices or the power rush. You just wanted to learn more about your grandmother. That book in particular was filled with nana's scribbles along the pages. Like the little sunflower pin that she gave you as a Christmas gift when you were fourteen and to that day was still pinned to your backpack. The book described it as the " _Grand Protection_ "; it took 3 whole months to enchant and the cheapest ingredient’s price ran _so high_ , it made you feel guilty of even wearing it.  

_For heaven's sake._

You decided to take a small revenge in not feeding him, stuffing the carefully wrapped lunch in your backpack. You were about to walk out the door when you called him. "Leo."

A bright light shined and the demon's figure appeared in front of you, but something was odd about him. His stance was awkward and wobbly, his skin looked slick and you wondered, by the tightness of his fists, if his nails were digging in his skin.

"Leo...?" He never answered, nor did he show any signs of hearing you. But a visible tremor took over his body. _What the-?_   "Are you okay?" You started to walk towards him, but stopped when he extended a hand in front of you.

"Please don't, _I'm just_... the contract is… punishing me." _What...?_ What was he talking about? The contract? He must have read the look of confusion in your face, for he took the time to explain. "I'm supposed to help as much as possible, remember? When I... create _conflict_... it just slows things down"

_...the contract enforces the fulfillment of these commands, to accelerate the process and to assert the caster wishes._

Oh boy. You had to bit your lip to keep any petty remarks to yourself. Leo was hugging his body and by the greenish tint in his already pale skin, you guessed he was about to be sick, thus, it would be better to let it go. "It's okay. Do you need any help?"

"Just... _forgive me_."

Ah... You froze in your place. 

" _Forgive me._ The magic in the contract feels I-" His knees buckled and you rushed to his side, but he once again stopped you. He was so unsteady and yet he refused any help from you. "It can feel you are angry."

You hesitated for a second. The truth was, you were pretty angry with Leo before he got here, and even if the feeling quickly dissipated in the hurry, what he had implied... what he had _said_...  but... this wasn't about that, right?  "Okay..." You took a deep breath, trying to convey as much resolution in your words as possible. "I forgive you, Leo."

"No, not like that." His breathing was ragged and forceful and _finally_ he gestured you to come closer. He extended his hand in front of you. You could see the pale skin, drenched in sweat. Ironically, you could see the life-lines in his hand. You barely remembered what they meant, but something clicked way too deep in the back of your head when you noticed how long they were.

You caught the way he was looking at you. Impatience and tiredness mixed together into frustration. Your hand rose to the height of his and with some hemming and hawing, your skin met his for the _first time_.

It was as clammy as it looked, but it wasn't cold; the electrifying warmth that crept upon you caught you off guard and a breathed gasp escaped your lips. Your eyes closed in an instinct and barely caught the light flashing behind your eyelids. Tendrils of electricity danced under the skin touching the demon.

A whisper slithered inside the feeling. "Now."

"Leo..." You breathed the name, but no more words would come out of your mouth. You knew they were wrong; you couldn't force yourself to lie into _that_ feeling. You couldn't risk losing it.

You opened your eyes just a crack. Leo's face was as calm as yours, his eyes were closed and the almost-frown that seemed to have permanent residence in his brow was absent, gone was the sick tint to his complexion. You realized then how you couldn't just say the words without meaning them. "Why?" He slowly opened his eyes as well. For a second it was _perfect_ , _intimate_ and the smallest beat of _trust,_ latent and _so alive_ surfaced. But the second passed and something closed shut behind his eyes, leaving you with a chill tremor. He shook his head; crimson threads dancing against his face.

The feeling was growing colder by the second and you noticed how his hand trembled against yours again. No... You had to do something; you had to explain to him... "My grandma...." The words came out of your mouth without thinking, but they made so much sense once they were out. "I think she was a witch..." You searched his eyes, really trying to make him understand this time. "I can't _not_ be angry when you say stuff like that." You saw something flash in his eyes and knew he, if anything, understood the meaning of _family_. "Can you... please not?"

The demon let a deep sigh out. When he next spoke his voice had the exhaustion of a millennia and the restriction of a mountain. "I promise you won’t have to hear it again."

**No**... You wanted, _needed_ him to understand. You needed to convince him if only to get the _warmth_ and the peace back. Still, you knew you have forgiven him, and when you told him so, a mockery of the sensation flashed for a second if only to taunt you.

The demon proceeded to slump in the offended chair, his elbows rested on his knees and his hands nestled his head. His skin had a much more healthy color and he seemed to be breathing better now. "Thank you, that... sucked." He still looked awfully tired. You guessed you could just... give him some of your lunch... Yeah, he had suffered enough, right? And is not like you were still mad at him, were you?

You reached into your backpack and extended your own sandwich in his direction. You could always eat something later. Leo's eyes grew bigger. He reached for the food and almost... _almost_ touched your skin

You noticed he held a tight grip on the napkin wrapped lunch. There was an awkward silence in the room and you felt the need to fill it in.

"You wanted the histories." You were rummaging your backpack for the thick folder, but he wasn't paying attention to you anymore.  His mouth was stuffed and his eyes were closed.

Was it _that_ good...?

* * *

"Alright, so, I'll get them out of the room, while you get the sample, just don't wake him up." Your hand was already on the doorknob when another thought crossed your mind. "But if you do: Do. Not. Scare. Him. Just... smile or something. If you make him cry we’ll be here all day."

The pale blue door swung open, revealing the pastel walls from the interior of Ben's room, although the cluster of drawing made it hard to really see the wallpaper behind. Dozens of dinosaurs drawings, big, small, colorful and eccentric were pasted to the walls; although you guessed that pink blob by the window was anything but a dinosaur. You even managed to convince the nurses to change Ben's sheets to the ones with tiny triceratops you brought.

The room was barely lit, as it was custom around this time. You were one hundred percent sure your brother was the biggest sleepyhead currently on earth. Full disclosure, he required around three naps on a good day, and if he was unable to sleep through the day he would become a _terror_ to the nurses.

You wished one day he’ll have more energy.

You scanned the room furthermore, but your parents were... nowhere to be found. Normally your mother would be reading or knitting something by the window and your dad would be either passing the corridor trying to walk off a plot hole or, in more _rare_ occasions, actually writing away the day in the hospital lounge.

You motioned Leo to come into the room. "I don't think they are here, let's hurry up."

Leo just nodded his agreement, and scurried inside.

You heard a muffled noise coming from behind you as you closed the door, followed by the roaring of what you could only guess was a T-rex. You turned around and found Leo looking apologetically at you, his foot over one of Ben's toys.  Uh, oh.

_Please don't wake up, please don't wake up._

You heard a mumbled version of your name being spoken in a childish voice.

_Great_. You threw Leo a reprimanding look before focusing completely on your brother. The blankets pooled around him and when he opened his mouth to speak a big yawn overtook him. " _Hey_ , big guy! Are you getting up?" He didn't answered you, but that was okay, Ben had never been the talkative type of kid; instead, he extended his short arms to you, so you lifted him up, his featherweight barely even there.

  _Fuck._

You turned to Leo. He wasn't looking at the screens monitoring Ben's vitals, neither had he looked at the report card the nurses kept in the holder by his door, rather, his eyes were in Ben. You had the feeling he was seeing something _far_ beyond him. After a short while he lifted his hand and you had to bite the impulse to snatch your brother away. Even if there weren't any _physical_ manifestations of the guy in front of you being something else that a little dramatic with his clothing, the notion of his nature kept poking here and there. All those instinct were only heightened around what you considered to be your major weakness. 

Regardless, Leo didn't even touch him, he just hovered his hand atop Ben's head and he... seemed to be okay with it, actually. Your brother was not a shy boy, with all the nurses and doctors he had to see every single day, the little guy had taking a liking for strangers. Still, he mentioned your name once more, this time in a tone that made it clear he was curious. You saw Leo take a syringe out of his pocket and quickly started to distract Ben.

"Ben, do you wanna guess _what_ I'm getting you?" That seemed to spark the baby's interest. Ben asked you quietly if it was for his birthday. " _Yes_ , do you remember last year's?" He shook his head. _No?_ Oh, man, you had taken so much heat for those butterflies. "What do you like most in the world?"

"'saurs".

"Yes!" Leo was almost done and you hated the fact that Ben was so comfortable with this, he barely acknowledge the needle sucking his blood. He didn’t deserve to be this used to pain. "Do you want one?" The frantic movement of his head carved a hole in your chest. That's it; you were getting him a _fucking_ dinosaur even if you had to travel back in time to the goddammed Cretaceous period.

Leo had barely put the syringe back in his pocket when the door opened.

In the door frame was your mother. She had a packet of yarn in her hand and a thick book in the other. "Hi, baby." She directed at the child in your arms and he squirmed in your hold to go to her. Your mom quickly took him in her arms. "Have you eaten yet? _No?_ Why?" She was addressing you this time and you only shook your head. Your mother let out a sigh.

Before, you've had problems with the nurses. Some would just... stop coming. Ben's sheets would remain unchanged, the room unkempt and the food would become scarcer despite the money that your parents were putting in his stay.

_I was as if everybody was slowly giving up on Ben._

You caught some movement out of the corner of your eye. Leo was switching his gaze between you and your mother. She seemed to notice too, because she introduced herself.

"Leo."

"Are you studying medicine, too?" You noticed a well concealed tone of disbelief in her voice. You didn't blame her. Leo was young but he hardly looked like he was still in school.

"No."

There was a moment of silence, and then.

"Oh, are you guys...?" She left the words hanging and when you realized the meaning of them, Leo had already turned as crimson as his hair.

You quickly stepped in, trying to alleviate the damage.

"He is Hyuk's cousin; I'm showing him around town." Your mother asked you then why you hadn't brought Hyuk with you like she did any time you came visit Ben. Honestly it confused you, you only brought him along a couple of times, but your parents always wanted to know about him. "He's busy, with the shop and all." You butted in before your mom would get more suspicious. "I brought lunch."

"Oh, I'm sorry honey; your dad and I already went down to the pizza place."

_Oh._

There was a noise at the door and a nurse came in with a food tray, you swallowed your disappointment down and took the chance to leave.

Once in the corridor, you turned around, curious to know what Leo had thought. Had he… _sensed_ something in Ben? Did he know how to cure him? But as empty as the corridor was, with only a nurse at the end of the hall and the back of what you have come to recognize as Dr. Lee, you understood that he had taken his leave too.

_What a horrible day, indeed._

Fuck and you still had that diagram for Anatomy.


End file.
